Thoughts that cost more than a penny:

Without You

I know I cannot breathe.

Without You

I know that I am weak.

Without You

My days go on so long.

Without You

All’s right can seem so wrong.

Without You

Good days become bad nights.

Without You

I have no strength to fight.

Without You

Love begun to sting.

WIthout You

I lose everything.

Without You

I have no faith, no hope.

Without You

I know I just can’t cope.

Without You

All my joy is gone.

Without You

My life can’t carry on.

Recruit.

Private.

Corporal.

you may be considered nothing by your superiors, but to me, you rank the highest.

it’s huge. I never realized it  could have such magnitude. I say it all the time to ordinary things, things that sometimes don’t deserve it, or dripped with heavy sarcasm like “i l— rice!” ( it’s true) or “i l— lord voldemort” (usually followed by the phrase “what? Ralph Fiennes is hot!) or “RIght, i l— to be punched in the face.” You know we say such things, but they never really go through our head thoroughly. we never think about it, words to us just come and go. Then the other part is, you say it to your family. most of the times you mean it, but sometimes you say it for the sake of saying it or sometimes it’s simply a habit. but the funny thing is, the first time you want to say to that significant other, you choke. so much uncertainties, swirling in your head. you try to get it out, your mouth numbs up, your saliva tastes funny, and your partner is starting to give you funny looks.

sad thing is, most people don’t even remember the first time they say the L word to that one person who matters most.

Why does it matter? it does. it signifies a whole new level in the relationship. it brings newer and deeper meanings. suddenly, that rose colored glass shatters. the crush, the infatuation, the cute-ness, the chase, the thrills, the excitement, all just fades away. it’s like stepping into water; and your feet just broke into the water surface. The water arches into a concave, and the wave is broken. Suddenly, you can’t take the L word back. You quarrel, you fight, but you remind yourself that you L— him/her. He/She annoys the shit out of you, but you accept it. sometimes you accept it so many times that you feel like you can’t take it anymore. you want to give up, but then slowly it begins to get easier to l— the flaws of the person. You stopped loving the person you met, but you’ve started loving the person as a whole, and you’ve started loving the person you fell in love with no matter what the problems are. You give and take – and then suddenly because of l—, you’ve begun to give more than you take, and you don’t mind it. you gave all you had, you gave your best, your all. No matter what happens after this, at least you did it. no matter where it goes, you’ve emerged as a winner. you cry, but his/her smiles can dry them up in an instant – even if you were the one making him/her smile. the best part is, you didn’t do it for yourself, you did it for him/her. you wanted his/her happiness, not your own. that is the epitome of the L word. Even if it’s at the expense of your time, money, emotions, mental state, or your life, nothing would make you happier than to see the edge curl up. Because after all these, you’ve realized that at the end of the day, it’s not about you, it’s about him/her. Most importantly, it’s about the big Man upstairs. He’s the L word. He’s the fire we feel inside when we finally spit it out. Or even the slip of the tongue can set your soul in flames.

Love. the simplest most amazing thing. Love. it’s a revolution. Love. it’s a choice. Love. it’s a commandment. Love. it’s the L word, and there’s no better word than this.

you lousy piece of shit.

why’d you do that?

now it’s like throwing shit up to a moving, ceiling fan.

and you turned the knob from 1 to 5.

I just want to put it out there that Dawn and Xiaxue are doing a great job keeping up with their publicity stunts. Without them, there would be no blogging entertainment. And seriously, that’s what Singapore need in the face of rising inflation: a nice spot in The Straits Times updating us of their miserable spat. Really, we can’t deal with real, important news. And they can’t deal with each other. Huh, go figure.

You said a real man does not show his true feelings.

But I say only a real man knows how to show his true feelings.

You may be a NS boy.

But you’re my real man.

I miss you.

!Congratulaciones Espana!

PODEMOS, TENEMOS.

Perfectly disappointing that Portugal lost to Germany 2 nights ago. So many maybe ifs and what ifs that it’s hard to remember it is JUST a soccer game. YES, it is JUST a soccer game, but not to many of us folks who huddled around a widescreen tv in macdonalds at 2.45am. We look utterly ridiculous from the outside, and even stupidier when we cheer for a goal. I mean, COME ON. MACDONALD’S?!?!?!?!?!?! When these things happen you sort of just say, “You’ve got to be shitting me.” And then you have me. The loser who cried at FIFA 2002  when Spain lost. I don’t like Portugal as much as Spain, but I was virtually on the verge of tears when they lost. It’s perhaps difficult to understand, but I could feel the dejection and Scolari’s depression halfway round the world through a screen. The field echoed with the heavy footsteps, and you can’t help but wish that maybe Scolari could have done something different. Maybe Ronaldo jinxed it by faking his injury and thus giving Friedrich a yellow card. Maybe Michael Ballack looks unresistably like an asshole and jinxed Portugal with his face. He’s like the Derek Jeter of soccer. His face says “punch me” and that was all I could think about in that whole painful 95 minutes of pure Portugese torture. Then there are people who tell me that I should just support Germany. Over my dead body, I say. Support the underdogs, because deep down, you know they are the ones who deserve to win. The ones who keep winning should step off a little, and the ones who come close but keep losing should step up a little. So as painful as it is for me, Portugal, you just got to suck it up and wait for 2009.

How do I tell you that there’s nothing I can say?

That there’s something in the way, holding me back?

How do I tell you that there’s nothing in my head?

Even when I try to think, and there’s nothing sinking in?

How do I tell you that I’ve lost myself today?

When I took off my own self, replaced me with someone else?

Maybe it’s time, to start a new rhyme, and try not to look behind.

Maybe it’s time, to start walking and learn to find

All the love I’ve lost today, and all that I would lose someday

Lately all I do is stop and think, never dreaming that the

Love that I’ve been wondering, could be the one that’s suffering

Then maybe I could close my eyes and run

Erase all the wrong to love I’ve done

How do I tell you that I can’t do a thing?

That there’s one thing left for me, but I’m afraid?

How do I tell you that I can’t help but fall?

Pain can’t help me stand, too proud to ask for a hand?

How do I tell you that I lost what I want most?

Too hurt to learn to cry, too weak to not to try?

I know You know the number of hairs on my head

I know You know the people that I dread

I know You know what I really hate

I know You know that I don’t know how to wait

I know You know that I can’t trust

I know You know that somehow I must

I know You know every stupid secret that I’ve kept

I know You know in total how much I’ve slept

I know You know when I need Your protection

I know You know I depend on Your intervention

I know You know that I need You in every way

I know You know I know You will love me everyday

Happy Father’s Day (time is nothing to You) to the best Father anyone can ever ask for and no one deserves.

There is no one like You. I love You.